Uncracked: ganja found on egg-woman who hit PM Scott Morrison with, you know, an egg!

7 May 2017: Police Media may have been obligated to use the adverb “allegedly” due to legal consideration or simply by virtue of habit but the whole wide world (www) has already witnessed today’s egging offence committed by a daredevil country woman. People know it is not merely “alleged” – they would have watched the videoed details many times over by now.

The “alleged” attacker attempted to crack an egg on the most prominent head in the continent which, one must remember, belonged to none other than the Prime Minister himself.

The incident occurred earlier today when Prime Minister Scott Morrison was attending an event at Albury Entertainment Centre when a 24-year-old woman, obviously aspiring to follow the footsteps of the internationally famous “egg-boy” from Melbourne, approached him from behind and allegedly struck with an egg to the back of his head.

Scott Morrison-southasia.com.au
Australians can’t stomach these eggings anymore I Photo: Screenshot, Channel 7

However, the egg did not crack as would have been intended by the Albury woman. It egged on to the stunned prime minister’s shoulders before falling on to the ground – still refusing to crack and thus denying the “perpetrator” her intended result.

Unfortunately for the woman, both mainstream media as well as social media response has been lacklustre and it is unlikely that the woman would be as famous as the original egg-boy who became a global celebrity overnight.

The woman has since been charged with common assault and possession of prohibited drug, NSW Police said in a press statement.

Unlike the Fraser Anning egging event when the arresting of the attacker was effected by his supporters with a certain kind of “past”, the Prime Minister’s egg-woman was lucky in that she was detained by more civilised and university-educated members of his security detail.

She has real reasons to be thankful that instead of pumped up party cadres it was the bonafide security personnel that tackled her to the ground today.

Else, Australians still recall how many pinned the little young man and for how long.

It remains to be seen as to why the egging enthusiast carried the cannabis on her person. Did she have some before the fact or did she intend to have it after in order to celebrate the scrambling of the prime minister remains to be known.

Prime Minister Scott Morrison is no doubt the ultimate winner of the egging event.

He not only dodged the prospect of egg yolk dripping down his back, thanks to his politics-hardened head, but has also presented his humane side to the voters by aiding an elderly bystander to her feet after she fell following the raucous.

It’s noteworthy that unlike Mr Anning, ScoMo threw no far-reaching punches at the attacker.

All in all, hell of a lucky day for a hard-boiled egg-woman.

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