By Amit Kaushik, Sydney
28 June 2017
Social networking sites are always awash with “heartfelt” messages on Father’s Day and Mother’s Day. Do people really have those sincere feelings for their parents as they appear on their Facebook and Twitter feeds? Just a question!
The word “Parent”, in itself, is a blessing but at the same time, it comes with enormous responsibilities. No one can fully master the art of parenting as there is no defined formula to successful parenting. Nevertheless, there are few basic rules which can help decode this complex word. Per initial thoughts, PARENTing is about Patience, Attitude, Reflection, Empowerment, Nurture and Transformation.
As a parent, you have to be very patient and careful with your children, at each and every stage. You should have listening and understanding skills. Without jumping into conclusions, you should be empathetic to their actions and each reaction of yours should be well-proportioned.
A positive and can-do Attitude is another key to parenting. It not only sets an example but also makes children believe in you and your abilities. It makes them believe that everything is possible if pursued with dedication and perseverance.
Reflection in itself is a bigger word. Your quality efforts in their upbringing undoubtedly reflect in the children. More often, children reflect what they see, what they perceive. At first, they try to emulate their parents, right from their style, their habits, and their persona. Few of these attributes come naturally, call it inheritance, influence or repetition. Just think how often you and people around you find their role models in their parents.
Empowerment gives children a sense of independence and security. Based on your experience and their reaction, you can devise tools and tricks that work constructively with your children. Empower them to control and channel their energy in the right direction, in right proportion and at the right time and place.
Nurturing the emotional health of children is as important as their physical health. Imbibing social awareness amongst children is more vital than letting them be in their own space. The whole world is moving more towards collaboration and networking and success is no more measured on individual achievements but on the cumulative outcomes which can only be achieved by complementing each other.
Transformation is a self-feeding phenomenon and it applies to both parents and children. You, as a parent, need to transform yourself first to transform their lives. Be open to learn new things from them. that will help you understand their viewpoint. Learning is a never-ending process and you need to sustain the pace of learning in order to bring effective results of transformation.
Parenting provides a golden opportunity to re-live what you missed by sharing your experience and wisdom. Your experience as a child and your learnings from your parents will play a crucial role in the all-round development of your child because now you are able to rationalise the impact of words and actions your parent chose for you during your childhood. Also, you can now think from a child’s perspective because you know how you thought about certain things decades earlier (when you were a child).
Time changes but the fundamental rules remain the same. You can neither go back nor align most of the things but based on the ramifications, you learn to avoid similar disasters in future. In most of the successful examples, it takes one generation to build the base and the second one to climb the ladder to success. It doesn’t mean to force your choices onto your children but to provide them an opportunity and ample support to succeed.
The above mentioned six attributes might not be enough to encompass the vast subject of Parenting but they surely provide a base to start with.
Originally from Haryana state of India, Amit Kaushik lives in Sydney where he works as an IT Analyst in the insurance industry.